Today I saw a video on MSNBC called Does Mom's Choice to Work Impact kids? where they interview Stacy Kaiser author of How to Be a Grown Up and Darcy Meyers a stay at home mom, and they talk about a study looking at kids whose mothers go to work after their first year of birth and they find that it can actually be beneficial for the kids. What it's expressed in the video is not that going back to work is better than staying at home, but that if going back to work for a mom benefits the family by making the family stable economically or if it fulfills the mom, then the family will benefit as a whole. It also says that when children are exposed to a different care giver it also improves their social skills. It says that many mom's feel really guilty about this decision, whether it be because they want to stay home and have to work or whether they want to work and stayed home. The key is to know that your family will benefit from whatever decision you make as long as it's the one that you feel is best for your family.
I can relate to this because I have struggled with mom guilt, when both my daughter's were born. I made the best choice for my family at each given moment. I stayed as much as I could with them when they were small and went back to work when it was the best decision for my family financially, and now I have made another change to working part time outside the home so I can focus on them and also on my passion of writing.
I know that many of you have struggled with the same questions. Should I or shouldn't I go back to work? Should I stay home with my kids instead?
How did you make the decision and what influenced it? Did you ever feel guilty about your decision? Did you do anything to alleviate the guilt?
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Love it, I seen something about that a few months back. I completely agree with the message, stating that it's not that one is better than the other, but rather, whichever is right for mom is right for the fam.
ReplyDeleteIt was never a question for me. I knew I'd stay home. I worked at a Day Care for a year, I seen what goes on in there. I've seen horror stories caught on Nanny cams. But most of all, I couldn't imagine not seeing my daughter's first step, hearing her first word, kissing every booboo.
We struggle some times financially since we're pretty much a one income family, but it's worth it. Not going out to fancy restaurants or spending hundreds of dollars on clothes is totally worth being with my littles while they're little.
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It was never a question for me... I always knew that I wanted to stay home with my kids! The reason being that I worked in daycares and with at risk youth and personally for me I wanted to be there instead of someone else! There are times that I feel guilty but I usually talk to my hubby and he reminds me that I am definitely contributing to our family "financially" just in a different way! We live comfortably and I love that I get to be the one with Alex all day!!
ReplyDeleteLOL... I just read the first comment and noticed we are in "sync"!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by today via vB!
following you back..thank you!It's wonderful to know that you are sponsoring a child from the Phililppines, I know it means a lot to that child to have someone like you help.If you would like to know more about F.L.A.G, you can send me an email monica.vera@flagphil.com . look forward to it. all the best
ReplyDeleteVisting from VB. I gave you a FB like and Follow.
ReplyDeleteI've had to make this decision and am in the process of remaking the decision to go back to work part time. Add homeschooling on top of that. Being a mom is tough.
This is a great post- addresses a huge issue for moms. Yes, the mom guilt is something I've struggled with for sure. You made an excellent point: each mom can decide what she feels is best for her family. For me, I decided to follow in my mom's footsteps by being a SAHM.
ReplyDeleteJinnia, you bring up a very interesting point, I think I also am following my mother's foot steps because for most of my life as a child she worked part time while I was in school and made sure to be home when I got out so she could spend time with me. We sometimes tend to follow our parent's footsteps in that area. Does anyone else consider this to be a determining unconscious factor?
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