New Year, New Life, New Perspective in Life

So today is the last day of the year 2013, my favorite year. Why is it my favorite year? First of all my favorite number is 13!! Second of all, I believe this year has brought many beautiful things in my life along with some not so beautiful, like my divorce, but with every thing that happens, good or bad there is always something that we learn and that we get out of every experience.

This was the year that my first born turned 13 and I am glad to have been able to give her a birthday party even though she wasn't going to be with me on her actual birthday. Just like my babies will not be with me as the year comes to an end and a new one begins, but come January 2nd my babies will be back with me once more.

I want to take the time to Thank God for everything he has given me this year.

Thank you God for:

My beautiful daughters, they are my life and without them I would be lost. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to have them with me and be healthy and happy and help me raise them good, with good values and love for you God.

Thank you for providing me with a nice home, big enough for us and that we have nice things.

Thank you for my job God, for my co-workers, and my boss. Thank you for letting me know that at my job I have a second family and because it provides me with challenges and enough money to sustain myself and my daughters.

Thanks God for my family, because I have my grandparents still alive and they are still strong at 91. Thank you for my mom, and my aunt and my cousins and my brother and my sister and my dad and everyone else who can be considered my family, may it be by blood or not, because family are those who you keep in your heart.

God Thanks for my Church, because I have found an amazing Church with an Amazing Pastor, because I can truly say that he is honest and a true man of God. Someone I can look up to for advice and for support and for encouragement and because he's a great role model.

God, thanks for my car, even though I have a love/hate relationship with it, it has helped me to get to and from places and it has facilitated many great moments with my family and friends.

Thanks God for my Best Friends, Tania, Nancy and Vini because they have been there for me in good times and bad times. And this past week when I have been alone without my girls on the holidays they have helped me have a GREAT time. I love you guys!!

Thank you God, for all these things, and for the Sky, and the clouds and for Manta Rays and for Music and Photography and Internet and Life!

God, I am really grateful for what you have given me this year, for every smile, and every tear, for every tiny bit of happiness and every great and amazing moment when you have allowed me to feel loved even if just for a moment.

Thank you Lord, for with you all things are possible!!!

May the new year bring many blessings to all and may you be able to Thank God yourself for all the blessings he will give you.

What are you grateful for coming the new Year?

Being Thankful and Other Things

 

This is the Season, the Holidays are right around the corner and we just finished celebrating Thanksgiving, and with that I think that comes a time of Reflection on what are we Thankful for.

Today at Church the Pastor talked about how we should be thankful for God's Grace and do so with out grumbling. He discussed the scripture John 5:1-15 that talks about a man who was at a Healing Pool and he had been ill for 38 years, when asked he started putting blame on others John 5:7 , then Jesus heals him and he walks away, without saying Thanks, and then when the Religious Leaders scold him for carrying a mat on the Sabbath, he has no problem throwing Jesus under the bus by directing to him the "Fault" of why he was carrying the mat  John 5:9-11. Basically he grumbled. He was not grateful and he redirected blame on others for whatever happened to him.

What am I trying to get at here? We Should Not Grumble. I have a really good friend who woke up today grumbling, he had stuffy nose, tooth ache, he had to go to work, he complained about this, and that. When I showed him a picture of the amazingly beautiful sky he got upset because he hasn't been able to take a picture with that kind of sky as a background. He was grumbling. I tried to change his mood, or at least get him distracted from his grumpiness and told him to think about how amazing his pictures will be when he does take those pictures with that kind of sky as a background. Then I changed the subject, and I think it worked because he did not grumble any more after that. :)

The curious thing is that I experienced this with him in the morning before Church and then at Church I hear this message that helped me notice this and  then I started thinking that I don't grumble. I'm grateful every day for everything. I don't complain.  But then I begin to grumble myself.  I grumble when I see happy couples because I am transitioning into divorce and I see these four couples that I know closely that are also recently divorced and they are currently with a new partner, and seem to be extremely happy.  But I'm not. I grumble because I can't understand how can a couple break up and soon after be in an amazing relationship, and why I am not in a wonderful relationship. I grumble when I see these couples posting pictures of themselves on facebook, hugging, smiling, in gatherings. Bleh!!! It makes me want to puke!! But that's just what I say on the outside. Because the truth is that I want that! I want the wonderful relationship just like them.  But at the same time I realize that all these couples seem to be best friends, and I never had that. In all my years of life I have never had a partner who started off being my best friend. Never! Can you believe that? I can't! But I believe that is the KEY! I need to learn to have a best friend first so it can end up in a relationship.I must say that before my husband left, I did not have any best friends since middle school. After he left, I found several amazing people who are my Best Friends! 

We should be grateful, everyday. We should notice when good things are happening to us, and be grateful. Now it's my turn, because I am now grateful that I have been experiencing what true friendship is. Whether it be with a girl or a guy, these friendships that I have developed are helping me learn to deal with other people, to know what a close knit friend is. And they have become my family, my extended family.

I thank God for allowing me to learn from my experiences, so that I can evolve into the person I am supposed to be. Because by being a better person, and a better friend, I will open up the path to a new partner in my life.

What are you Thankful for? In which ways do you sometimes grumble? What steps can you take to stop grumbling and start being grateful?

Does Age Really Matter?

 
Today I'm going to go a little off topic here. I just read an article in Cafe mom called: "Open Letter to the 22-Year-Old Who Wants to Date This Old Lady"  She basically turns down this 22 year old guy who wants to date her because of their large age difference, but at the end of the article she asks her readers if she should even consider dating this guy.

In society I have noticed that it is more acceptable for an older man to date a younger woman, however it seems to be frowned upon if an older female wants to date a younger guy. Why is that so?

I found it very interesting when in the Movie Don Jon Joseph Gordon-Levitt ends up with Julianne Moore who in real life is 21 years older than him.  I must admit that I really liked the ending, how he finds himself in love with this older woman, a love very different than what popular culture considers Love. I found this love story to be fascinating.

I must say that I tend to feel attracted by stories like this. I constantly wonder if there is anyone in this world who has a successful relationship where the woman is much older than the man? I really don't know. 

I must say that growing up I always had a stronger attraction to older men. I've been attracted to men up to 22 years older than me.  But after my husband and I split I found myself attracting older men, and after a while I realized that it was not what I wanted. I started getting creepy guys interested in me, white haired men, with no steady jobs.  Some even too tired to go out. And while I dealt with these issues I found myself falling for a guy 7 years younger than me.  I must say I was shocked, I had never liked younger guys before, but after that experience I realized I much rather date younger guys. So I started praying to God to give me a young guy.  I have met a few younger guys but when the age range is more than 15 years then it starts to worry me.

Common worries about dating a younger guy are:

*Will he fall in love with my daughters?
*Will he cheat on me?
*Will he get tired of me?
*Will he find me attractive?
*Will I ruin his life and destroy his dreams by holding him down at his prime?
*Will his family ever accept me?
*Will my family ever accept him?

Does this all make sense?
I don't know. Sometimes I just wonder why all this matters. If two people love each other and are committed to each other, then age shouldn't matter. But to the society we live in, it does.
I just know that, when time comes, I don't want to choose. I want God to choose for me. Whoever is going to be my partner, and hopefully this time for life, will be chosen by God, no one else.  Because he makes no mistakes.


Some people think that it's OK to just enjoy being single, enjoy life, do whatever you want, it does no harm.  What do you think about this? Do you think it's OK to date outside your age range? Do you think it's OK to just have fun while you can? I want to know what you think.

When all you need is Faith and a Vision.

 Hello everyone, I have been absent for a while due to some partial loss of inspiration, but I expect to come back in full force, and give you things to think about that will hopefully help you in one way or another.

Today I have chosen to talk about Faith and Vision.
I have been hearing a lot lately about the importance of having a clear vision of what you want to achieve in order to achieve it.

Vision and Faith are the Key ingredients for Success in Life, lately I keep hearing this over and over again.

This is something I have struggled with for a long time. I believe this partial lack of Vision is what led me to create this Blog. What I want to achieve here is to make people think, and find within each of you the tools to move forward at those times when you feel Stuck.

What is your Vision? Take a moment now and think about it. What do you want in life? What do you want to be remembered for? What do you want to leave as a legacy to your children and grand children?

Once you figure that out, take a moment and ask yourself, Do you have Faith that you will achieve that Vision? That is all that you really need. A Vision, and Faith that you will get there.

Do you have both? If not, which one of them do you consider you struggle more with?

In my case, I struggle more with the Vision.  If you think about it, it makes more sense to struggle with the Faith rather than the Vision, because How can you possibly have Faith on something you don't know?  But that is what I feel sometimes, I have a very strong Faith in God, I know that I am here in this world with a purpose, and that I will fulfill that purpose, however, my Vision is very vague. Yet recently I've decided to work hard at making that Vision very specific. In fact, I will be doing an exercise to help me out right here, right now.  I don't know if you know this about me, but when I write I don't plan it, I just sit at the computer and type away, whatever comes to mind as my fingers walk through the keyboard keys.  I encourage you to do this exercise with me if you also struggle with having a Vision.

When you think about your purpose in life, what do you think about? What do you feel makes you special? If you don't know, take a few minutes and think about the people close to you, what are you known for by them? If you don't know, then ask them. What makes you who you are? Are you Funny, Helpful, Creative, Tough?

With me I am helpful, and a good friend. I will go above and beyond for the people I care about, and one thing that makes me happy is to be able to help those I care about the most. I am constantly looking for ways to help out my friends in any way I can, and making connections with people, by connecting people who need of each other.

How can you take that quality and apply it to making an impact in the world? I truly believe that the basis of every human being is to be of some significance in this world, even if all you do is impact the life of one person, that one person may be able to impact many more thanks to how you impacted them.

I can take that helpful quality and expand it to strangers, not only to my loved ones. I can extend my helpfulness by donating items, time or money to different causes. I must say I currently do that, I sponsor two girls in Children's International and I donate every year to F.L.A.G a School for girls in the Philippines. I also donate my used Magazines to a local Charity that brings them to the Children's Ward in a Hospital so that Parents have something to read while their children are being treated for serious health problems. I also started a creative business where I provide Graphic Design Services for people and Photography Services, Publishing Services, Event Planning Services, and all of these creative Services are provided by me and my dear friends, it's a collaboration, I want to have extra income and I want to help my friends achieve the same, we work together for a common goal. Ideally I want to be able to make enough money so that I can donate some of the proceeds to different charities that me and my friends feel strongly about, and we all do. If you want to check us out go to MZ Designs on Facebook.

So now, think back on your answers. Do you see anything that gives you an inkling on your vision? I do. My Vision is to have a Collaborative Company with my loved ones, where each of us gives part of who we are to the world, providing creative services that fill a need, that make people happy, that we can grow to a point where we will be able to expand our reach to help in many more ways. Not only with our services but with the things we will be able to do when our resources become abundant. I want to be able to impact millions of people, billions, trillions even. I want to make a difference in this world and do so hand in hand with the people I love who want to join me in this venture.

What do you want to achieve? What is your Vision?

From Fear to Faith

Most of my life was lead by fear. Fear of abandonment, of not being liked, fear of pain, spiders, and fear to almost anything.

A couple of years ago I received as a gift the Book The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. In it talks about the Law of Attraction and how people attract the things they think about, the things they talk about and even the things we complain about. According to this law, fear is one of our worst enemies, because just by allowing ourselves to fear something we give that very thing a very powerful energy and it will attract that same thing we fear to our own lives. Reading this book helped me to pay more attention to what I was thinking, what I was fearing and/or complaining about. That was just the first step in ridding myself from fear.

The second step started happening when I began to go to Church, that is when I started developing Faith. When I came to Church I was in the worst moment of my life, having recently lost my husband to a break up I felt like there was not much to look forward to. I have two wonderful daughters and I needed to be healthy and happy for them. They are my livelyhood. But my depression was getting the best of me so I started to go to Church and I noticed that I started to feel better. People at Church were nice, there is great music and I really feel like the pastor is talking directly to me. I took notes and felt this urge to learn more and more. I barely believed in God and I used to think Christianity was a bunch of nonesense. But there I was, trying to find something.
One day the pastor said that all that we needed was a mustard seed of faith for it to grow. And I thought to myself. I can do that!
As time passed I kept studying the word. Started reading the Bible. I used the Life Application Study Bible to learn as much as I could, and it is something that I do continuously because it is such an interesting book, filled with action, adventure, drama... and a lot of wisdom.
And as time passed in less than a year I was able to develop genuine faith.
What is genuine faith? It is believing so strongly that God is taking care of you and preparing you so that he can use you, so you can be a blessing to others. My fear has completely vanished from my life and I feel better than ever.
I know that anything that comes my way is a lesson, I know that God's timing is Always perfect so whatever I am supposed to get, I will get to and at the best time for it. So there's nothing to worry about.

Talking about Love

It has been a long time since I have written a post. More than a year I think. I have stayed away from the blog since my marriage didn't work. There is so much that I was feeling and I felt that I wasn't in the liberty to share it. I mean, too many people know who I am. I cannot talk about what happened, don't want to air my dirty laundry in the internet. There are some things that are better left unsaid.
I have struggled with my feelings, with my understanding of what life is. And as I go through this journey that may very possibly end in divorce I contemplate on the meaning of Love. What is Love? Is it an emotion? An action? A decision? Energy?
I have always felt that Love was like a decision. You make a commitment to be with a person and you try to work it out, no matter what. But not everyone thinks that way and there is also the issue of how much do you tolerate? How far do you go to make something work without loosing your very lively hood? When is it okay to quit on a relationship?
I guess every person is different. Many people stay together for different reasons which may or may not include LOVE.
But if you define Love as the energy of creation. It is also a conscious choice.
Jesus taught us Christians about a different kind of Love than we are used to. Agape Love, the Unconditional love a person has towards others. A love that you choose to have towards humanity, that gives value to all beings and it triggers a desire to help and be of service to others. I get that. I get that Agape Love towards humanity. But society has placed the value that Love should have in Sex. The media equates love with sex. Everywhere it is plastered all over the medias. But that I just don't get. It may be because I was with only one man in my life and could only understand the concept of sex in the context of an exclusive relationship. But the world tells us that sex is fun, it is something you should do as much as it is humanly possible. You must try with as many people as possible so you can learn and have fun and have something to compare it to. So you can make an educated choice on who the right person should be.
I think that sex should NOT be the determining factor on whether a person is a good partner or not. I believe that when you find that perfect partner and you both feel a connection and make a commitment to each other then the sex is going to be great! It should come from two individuals who are mentally and emotionally connected and compatible and then physically compatible.
I have tried to understand the sex industry but I can't. I am not looking for a partner who will give me awesome sex. I want someone who I can connect with. Who cares about me and my daughters. Who is interested in knowing all about me and is in no rush to learn everything in a day. Someone who is a good role model, hard working man, with goals and aspirations, who enjoys doing acts of service just like me, or that would at least encourage me to continue to follow that path. Someone who is willing to stick by my side. No matter what.
What do you identify with Love? What does LOVE mean to you?