Little Bit of Updates

This month has been a little bit different, I don't know if it has been all the changes like, school starting for the kids, new schedules, etc. For me September has been a month of changes, one after the other and I must say that I have been able to handle them pretty good. In the past I have been known not to handle changes with grace, but I believe I have learned to accept changes or maybe it is just that I have been working on changing my attitude towards life and realize that I am fully capable to control my emotions, who in turn affect the way my day turns out. If I see the good things in all that happens or am able to accept things as they happen I tend to have a good day. So I have had most my days, if not all, be good days. Things don't upset me anymore like they used to, I don't get scared as much, and don't get sad, at all. I know that I control my thoughts and my thoughts influence my feelings and my feelings determine the outcome of my day so by choosing carefully my thoughts I have been able to have mostly nice days.


I am planning many good things in the coming months. Several projects I can't wait to tell you all about. There's also an amazing Ipad2 Giveaway that's coming up in October 3rd and it's going to be amazing so don't forget to come by and check it out then.

I am also going to go on two journeys with you, one is going to be a 30lbs in 90 days Challenge and The Total Transformation Program that I am going to be doing with my kids to help them be at their best behavior, and even though they behave pretty good, I want to be able to have them help me more around the house and do their homework more effectively and keep their rooms clean and argue less.

These next 3 months will be filled with challenges, and I want you to be there along with me. So stay tuned.

I also wanted to share that I just started taking a Social Media Marketing Class and I am very excited for the opportunities this is going to bring me.

I don't know if you noticed but I now have bought my own domain, so you can now access my Blog at www.cocoons2butterflies.com :)

In the next 3 months I will also Start a new page for Teens, so anyone who is interested in being contributing writers please email me for more details. I am going to need experts in any topic related to teens.

Well, this is for now, and stay tuned for all that these 3 months have to offer.

How do you deal when your hubby is out of town?

Recently my mother in law passed away and before that, in the ending of May she had gotten sick and my hubby went to be by her side. He spend about a week away and as the days went by I noticed myself getting antsy. I sleep in the corner of the bed, I feel bad locking the door with the chain because I have this sensation that he's going to come in soon. It is like his presence is here even though he isn't. Last time he was away I realized that I spent quite some time shopping. I spent a few hundred dollars in stuff and I cried as I put things in my shopping cart because part of me knew that I was just shopping to make myself feel better. Shopping Therapy is real! I don't know what it is, maybe is the fact that we give ourselves a treat, something that makes us feel good, like for example, last time I bought myself a blender, and some margarita mixers. This time since my hubby left to the funeral, I have found a way to be out of the house every day, and I bought myself some make-up, about $70 worth of it. : P And everything I buy is thinking about him. I buy make up to make me these cat-eyes, that he likes so much and I don't know how to do. I have learned quite a few things about myself  that I didn't realize it until I have spent this time away from him. I enjoy sleeping with him in my bed, feeling his body close to mine, especially when he puts his arm around me. I enjoy watching certain TV shows with him, like The Voice, and White Collar, Modern Family, The Middle, etc. It is not the same without him. I enjoy having this time to spend it with him, even if we are only staring at the TV, even if I fall asleep half way. I find it so valuable to be able to laugh together like we do when we watch these shows.
Another thing I learned is that I like going out, I hesitate to go out sometimes because I feel overwhelmed with things sometimes, but once I block that I fully enjoy going out. I work part time, it's summer, girls don't have school, or homework, so there's no need to worry about getting home late. The only drawback is no time for chores. I want to be able to go out with my hubby more often. I used to be so concerned about my work before, but now, I don't care anymore, I do not live to work, that's something I learned recently about me too.
Because I believe we are constantly evolving, and the things that made us who we were 3 years ago, are not the same things that make us who we are today. And I know I am so different than what I was 3 years ago, and my hubby it is as well. We constantly need to learn about each other and be able to put the past behind us so that we can grow and bloom.
How do you deal when your husband is out of town?

The Thing about Resentment

Resentment is a very dangerous thing, it's like a poison that invades your blood and it spreads throughout your body. It can't be ignored, as it stays dormant in your body waiting for the right moment to come back and make you sick.
So what causes resentment? To me, resentment is caused by allowing someone to do something bad to you and not saying anything about it. It's created by swallowing anger, and accepting mistreatment. Sometimes the person that has harmed you did not know or realize that they had harmed you, they may have really never meant to do you harm. Maybe they did. But if you don't say anything, if you don't tell them how you feel, your resentment will continue to grow.
This applies to most people, yet the way to get rid of resentment with your spouse is completely different and that's a whole 'nother story. But if the person you are carrying resentment towards is a friend or co-worker or boss, then I suggest you make your case be heard if you would like to be able to get rid of the churning in your stomach and the negative thoughts that come with it.

At this moment in time I am carrying resentment with my boss. I am hesitant to tell the whole story as you know how Heather Armstrong got fired  for saying bad things about her job.
But the thing that bothers me the most is that my boss complains to my husband behind my back that he doesn't like the fact that I am working only part time now and he doesn't like the girl I got to help me. Well he fails to see that he was the one who made the choice or allowed his father to make the choice of hiring an incompetent to be in the office that is right next to my house and behind my daughter's school even though I specifically asked him to let me work in that office since it would allow me to work full time and still be able to pick up my daughters from school. But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I have to work in the office that's an hour away simply because it's close to my boss' house and it's more convenient for him. And he's rarely there anyway. He moves around 3 general areas, there is no reason for him to keep me in the other office. Some days I just feel like telling him to F' off and quit. But I want to go about this in a different way. I want to take a course in marketing that's $5000 and after I pay it off then I can move on.

Resentment is not only created by what other people do to you. It is created by our own actions, by allowing ourselves to be treated in a way that is not acceptable to us. It is something of an alarm that tells us that we need to take action and look at our situation and make a change.
Do you ever feel resentful towards someone? What do you do about it?

How to write and do something you don't like

As I start getting myself out there more as a writer I have come across some assignments that could do wonders for my career yet they seem so hard to do.
To those who know me personally they can tell that I am a very picky eater, I do not like to cook and I like junk food the most. So having to write about health and healthy meal options it's quite a stretch. I am surrounded with plenty of friends who are into health, who eat nutritious foods and actually eat vegetables because they like them, they tell me about the benefits of a healthy life style, yet my body is so accustomed to junk that when I start eating healthy my body goes through not so good changes that make me go back to my old ways. I have a hard time eating things with fiber as they send me running. And eating vegetables often give me too much gas. I wonder if this is normal as I must confess that the aroma that comes from me seems to be more of death than health.
I have been encouraged to keep trying, to keep incorporating health into my lifestyle, that once I see the benefits of it, I will not go back. My friend Karina from eatpretty.com told me that maybe I could see healthy foods as a medicine at first that can cure my tiredness, then after I see how energetic I become then I won't think twice.
As I struggle with this dilemma, about how to become more healthy so I can write about health and not think it's a drag, and maybe further along my writing and get more credibility, it seems now at this point in my life starting to live a healthy lifestyle can reap more benefits then before. So I ask you, what do you do when you must do something you don't like to do? Do you have any tips for someone who is having a hard time making the switch to a healthy lifestyle?

The BOBO Dilema

I know this post will be controversial amongst parents and some who are not yet parents but have an opinion on the subject and it's OK. I'm going to bring it out in the open and confess that my soon to be 5 year old daughter still uses a "Bobo" (pacifier)
I know that parents are not supposed to allow their children to use pacifiers beyond the first year. I have read the books, and the blogs and seen the shows on TV about this topic, so it is not ignorance. I can see how as years go by the ability to take it away decreases as the child becomes set in her ways and attached to it even more.
With my first daughter she gave it up at the age of 4 on her own with the help of the dentist. I remember when she went to her check up and the dentist asked her if she used the pacifier, Gaby said yes and the dentist proceeded to tell her how he could tell because her teeth had started to shift and if she didn't give it up her teeth would need braces when she grew up. As soon as we got home Gaby told me she was not going to use her bobo anymore, and she never looked back.
Elsie on the other hand went to her dentist appointment and the dentist said she had perfect teeth! So there goes that idea! I talked about the Bobo Fairy and how she would take the bobo's to babies who needed them, how she was a big girl, and that she needed to give it up so her teeth don't get crooked. Nothing works. At age 3 she said she would give up her bobo by her 4th birthday. At age 4, by her 5th birthday, and as her 5th birthday approaches she just announced that she will give it up around her 6th birthday!
I truly believe my child should give it up on her own and as a mother of an almost 6 year old wearing a pacifier on our last family trip to Florida last summer said to me "I don't worry about it, I have never seen a teenager with a pacifier, they always give it up eventually" She said all her kids gave it up around 6.
The truth is that I am not worried about her ability to give it up eventually, and she's never allowed to use it outside the home and then it's mostly when she's tired and wants to rest, but I do feel the society and my husband's pressure to make her give it up, and since the tricks I used on Gaby don't work with Elsie( like not allowing her to take it out of the bed, or making her fear crooked teeth) then I came up with the idea of No Bobo Day. I chose Wednesday as No Bobo Day because that's the day we go to my Writer's workshop so we get home pretty late and she won't be hanging out in the house for long periods of time missing it.
So the first Bobo Day started a little rough as she woke up cranky and didn't want to give it up I got her to give it to me in time for breakfast and didn't use it the rest of the day. After we got home from my Writer's workshop we sat and did homework, took a bath and went to bed and she didn't even ask for the Bobo at all. Maybe this will work out after all. :)

Looking for Beautiful Things

Today I did something I have never done before. I sat on the couch with a copy of InStyle magazine. A magazine that those who know me personally would never catch me reading, EVER. But here I am, with a full year free subscription to this style mag courtesy of my boss' wife without her knowledge. You see, my boss told me to pay for his wife's subscriptions to House Beautiful and InStyle Magazine. He gave me the renewal form and told me to make a check and mail it out, just like I do with all his bills. I noticed that both magazines had a "Holiday Special. Renew Today and get two subscriptions for the price of one. One for you and one for a friend. Just fill out your friend's information and we will send them a gift subscription at no extra cost to you." Perfect. I second guessed myself for a few seconds and proceeded to give myself a free gift on her behalf.

I Love Magazines. I have tons of magazines in my home. Waiting to be read or weeded out. I subscribe to Oprah, and Parents and Family Circle, Latina, Us Weekly, etc. and most of them I got for free. I only pay for Oprah magazine as she is an inspiration and role model for me. But InStyle magazine is not one to catch my attention normally. I am not into fashion and mostly wear jeans, black sneakers or boots, and a plain shirt that I buy in every color of the rainbow so as to give the impression that I wear something different every day, even though is the same exact thing just in a different color. So why InStyle? First of all it was free and second of all I remembered the words of my boss saying "My wife is into fashion, she is always wearing whatever is in Style" and a vision of his wife came into my head and how beautiful she is and how it would be nice if I looked as beautiful and fashionable as her.

Today I opened my mailbox and saw my first issue of InStyle magazine, and this magazine is HUGE. It's 500 pages of mostly pictures. As I stared at the cover and felt the weight in my arms I remembered something I read in a book about how surrounding yourself with beautiful things attracts beautiful things to you. So I carried the mag home sat in the couch and went on a scavenger hunt for beautiful things. I remembered the pile of about 100 magazines I have hidden under a table and how I have vowed to weed through them only tearing out the articles I'm interested in and recycling the rest, and thought that if only I weeded out the magazine as soon as I looked at it the first time, I would have no need to go back and check it a second time saving me the hassle. So I did, I tore out through the magazine pulling out only the pictures of things that I thought were beautiful so I can make my own beautiful things book and attract all things beautiful to myself back.

Are there any quirky things you do to make yourself feel more pretty?

Finding Your Own Worth

As I walked to my daughters school another mother approached me and said, "Say hi to your mom for me" I smiled and nodded when suddenly I realized that even though I've seen this woman often, I have never spoken to her or know her name.
My mom lived with us for 2 years, and she made friends with everyone. She loves to talk and make friends and even the mailman sends his regards to her. I am more of a keep-to-myself kind of gal, yet I can appreciate my moms quality and know that thanks to her I have been able to make quite some awesome friends. But there's a part of me that goes back to my teenage years of hearing people refer to me as Grace's grandaughter, Chalin's grandaughter, Linda's daughter, Karla's cousin... and comparing it to Gaby's mom, and Elsie's mom, and Jesus's wife, and Joseph's assistant... it makes sense I would struggle with identity all these years. But I do appreciate the contact's these extensions of myself have brought me.
I can admit that I tend to be quiet and keep to myself, but I also can claim April to be my friend, one that I found all by myself. As is Ingrid, and Yanira, and Bibi. So, I acknowledge that I too have merit, that I too am wonderful and capable of making my own friends. I too have worth, and I wouldn't change a thing.

Dealing with Clutter: Sense of Security

For the most part of my life I have lived with clutter. I remember growing up and having one room of the house to be the "cachibache" room. In there we threw everything we didn't use often. And when I say threw, I mean literally threw. That room was a mess. Random stuff piled over everything. Now that I think about it, it was basically a storage room but with no organization what so ever. We moved fairly often and this messy room of stuff would get packed over and over and over, unused, unchecked. Only on the rare occasion when we would have a flood would we weed through the stuff, and mourn the once forgotten stuff we had not seen since our last move.
And here I am now as an adult finding myself with the same problem, except here in NYC, we don't have the luxury of an extra room unless we rent a storage space. So all my "cachibaches" are spread around all over the house creating a chaotic mess. I always blamed it on being tired to clean, on not having enough space, or a good shredder (you know, identity theft and all). The girls are too little, they need my attention, I can't possibly spend the day cleaning. But these are all excuses, like the one I have used the most often "we are going to move soon anyway so why bother". But soon has been five years and we are still at the same house, and this takes me to another thing, sense of security. What I have come to learn is that throughout my life I've moved so much and my situation has been so random that I lost the sense of security that I should have had since I was a child and with this I developed and attitude of indifference. I never considered anything to have the ability to be mine long term, so I never found the need to care and keep anything in nice condition, because to me there was no point in making an effort for temporary things. But even life is temporary, why not make it the best, right? So now as I find myself weeding through clutter, getting rid of stuff, one room at a time. I propose to make my soroundings nice, and with this my family gets happy in return too.