The Thing about Resentment

Resentment is a very dangerous thing, it's like a poison that invades your blood and it spreads throughout your body. It can't be ignored, as it stays dormant in your body waiting for the right moment to come back and make you sick.
So what causes resentment? To me, resentment is caused by allowing someone to do something bad to you and not saying anything about it. It's created by swallowing anger, and accepting mistreatment. Sometimes the person that has harmed you did not know or realize that they had harmed you, they may have really never meant to do you harm. Maybe they did. But if you don't say anything, if you don't tell them how you feel, your resentment will continue to grow.
This applies to most people, yet the way to get rid of resentment with your spouse is completely different and that's a whole 'nother story. But if the person you are carrying resentment towards is a friend or co-worker or boss, then I suggest you make your case be heard if you would like to be able to get rid of the churning in your stomach and the negative thoughts that come with it.

At this moment in time I am carrying resentment with my boss. I am hesitant to tell the whole story as you know how Heather Armstrong got fired  for saying bad things about her job.
But the thing that bothers me the most is that my boss complains to my husband behind my back that he doesn't like the fact that I am working only part time now and he doesn't like the girl I got to help me. Well he fails to see that he was the one who made the choice or allowed his father to make the choice of hiring an incompetent to be in the office that is right next to my house and behind my daughter's school even though I specifically asked him to let me work in that office since it would allow me to work full time and still be able to pick up my daughters from school. But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I have to work in the office that's an hour away simply because it's close to my boss' house and it's more convenient for him. And he's rarely there anyway. He moves around 3 general areas, there is no reason for him to keep me in the other office. Some days I just feel like telling him to F' off and quit. But I want to go about this in a different way. I want to take a course in marketing that's $5000 and after I pay it off then I can move on.

Resentment is not only created by what other people do to you. It is created by our own actions, by allowing ourselves to be treated in a way that is not acceptable to us. It is something of an alarm that tells us that we need to take action and look at our situation and make a change.
Do you ever feel resentful towards someone? What do you do about it?

The Significance of Anger

I usually try to avoid anger, yet anger is a natural response. It is healthy to admit that we are angry, because it usually means that there is a conflict between our beliefs or boundaries and what is going on at the moment. It is healthy to own anger, yet I have a hard time doing so. I fear loosing control or creating an argument when all I want is to be left alone.

At this moment I must confess I feel angry, I feel disrespected, and I am trying to dismiss this anger because I believe that if I try to talk it out it will be pointless. My point of view will not be acknowledged but it will be dismissed as neurotic and this will cause me even more anger. So what are we supposed to do, when the person you are upset with will not hear you out and there's no way to escape? I don't know. Maybe I should try. Because the truth is that we are the ones who make ourselves angry, no one can make us angry unless we allow them to. It is all in the way we choose to react to things.

So we do have a choice to be or not to be angry, but we do have to learn to own anger and not let it become powerful over us. We also need to stand up for ourselves and not let others put us down.

How do you deal with anger?