Loving Unconditionally and Not Caring

Today I was reading the July 2011 issue of Oprah Magazine when I came across an article that caught my eye. How to Love More by Caring Less by Martha Beck There was a sentence that shocked me, and it made me feel that the author was being a bit harsh when she said: "Well, Loretta, I just love you. I don't care what happens to you." My first impression was that the part of not caring what happens to her was meant as I-don't-care-if-you-stay-with-your-abusive-husband-and-he-kills-you, kind of thing, but as I read on I was able to understand that what the author means by "not caring" is, "I don't care what you do with your life, I will still love you no matter what." and I got it. Many of us make the mistakes of caring too much, like caring too much about what another person does, or doesn't do. If you find yourself thinking, if so and so could only do this or change in this or that way I would ________________________, then you are not loving unconditionally. I think we all make this mistake in our lives, and I have come to realize that it's better to live and let live, love and let love. AS Martha says "Loving without caring might mean staying calm when your sister gets divorced, or your dad starts smoking again, or your husband gets laid off." To me is not trying to control the outcome of the other person's life, is accepting them with their flaws and all, accepting that they make the choices they make because they can, it's being supportive when your husband wants to buy a motorcycle, even if you are concerned about it. It's knowing that the only person you have control over is yourself. It is accepting the fact that we can all reach a given emotional state even if a loved one does not conform to our wishes. It is thinking that it is possible to stay peaceful and able to embrace joyous occasions even if all our loved ones where to remain toxicaly insane.
We need to shift our focus from controlling our loved one's behavior to creating our own happiness.
I recommend  everyone to read the full article. I believe that for the past few months I have been gradually making this my new reality, I am accepting of my loved ones without caring what they do. Because I accept that they are different than me, that they have their own sets of wishes and desires, and it is not my job to control them or try to make them see life my way. I just have to love them just the way they are.