Strong Fathers make strong Daughters

I have been reading this book called Strong Father's Strong Daughters by Meg Meeker MD. and in honor of Father's Day I thought I would say a few things about this book.
My first thought is that it is a shame that it is a book and not an article, and it's just because of my experience with men who don't like to read. Remember my article about how women read more books than men? Well, I've been doing my survey and my hypothesis up to now has been confirmed.
Going back to the book, I want to say a few things about it.

The book talks about the Ten Secrets every father should know and they are:
1. You are the most important Man in her life
2. She needs a hero
3. You are her first Love
4. Teach her Humility
5. Protect her and defend her.
6. Pragmatism and Grit are two of your greatest assets
7. Be the man you want her to marry.
8. Teach her about God
9. Teach her to fight
10. Keep her connected.


This comes mostly from the  Table of Contents but as I read I got that what the author is trying to tell all dads out there is that they are capable of influencing the lives of their daughters weather they try to or not. If a father is protective of her daughter, shows her love and understanding, makes an effort to spend time with his daughter(s) and is always there for them not only physically but emotionally as well, then his daughters are going to grow up being happy and will learn to have healthy relationships. The book shares different case studies of young girls and how their lives have been impacted positively and negatively by their father's actions. I found the book very interesting. Even though I have not finished reading the whole book I must say that I was surprised how in one of the chapters it says that they recommend a couple stay in a marriage for the sake of the daughter. That if a man sticks it out, that it gives the daughters a sense of security and gives them a good example in perseverance. The author says that there is a huge difference from a divorce that happens when a child is 20 than when they are 15. It says that 97% of girls that are part of a family where the parents are married feel loved, 71% if they are part of a family with a step parent, and 55% of girls in a single parent family felt loved.

As I read this book I felt all emotional and it brought back memories of my childhood growing up without my biological father, and how much I missed having a full time dad at home. How I felt abandoned, and not loved by my dad, and all the angry feelings I felt for him mixed in with the pain. And even though I met my father when I was 15 (yes, met, as in meet for the first time) and he assured me he loved me always and that he was constantly thinking about me, and how he kept pictures of me as I grew up, and now we have a pretty good relationship, and get along pretty good, I know that there are very deep scars that came along with it, and still things that don't make sense, and there's this part of me that cannot understand that if he loved me so much then why did I not receive a single letter from him, and I cannot understand why he gave up. He figured he would wait for me to look for him, and that hurts in a very deep level.
I know for a fact that my personality was shaped by him not being there for me. And I see how when I chose a man to marry I looked for someone strong, and loving, and protective of me, because that's what I was lacking in my life. A protector, someone to be there to look out for me. I am really grateful that I chose such a great man to be the father of my daughters, because he is strong and protective of them and I know he would do anything for them as they are the love of his life.
I am grateful for how my mom made a lot of sacrifices to give me the best life she could, and she kept me in good neighborhoods and safe from any bad influences because that kept me in check and safe. And I am also grateful for my step dad, that even though he and my mom divorced when I was 6 he knew how to keep in touch and was present emotionally for me throughout our lives. And to my grand father who was also a very positive male influence in my life and I love him with all my heart.
I want to say to all the dads out there that your daughters really need you, even when they are moody and try to push you away, because deep inside they need to know that no matter what they do, you will always be there for them, that you will always protect them, that you will always love them forever. And they need your constant presence in their lives to really feel it.