Journey to Self Discovery

Not all of you know me well yet, but I want to share that for a lot of my life I have been trying to search for my True Identity. That's why I have started this Blog to begin with. Because I believe that if we help our children be true to themselves right from the beginning, then they will grow to be self confident, happy individuals. And that is my goal, to help parents all over the world to help their kids find their true selves, and at the same time help the parents to find themselves as well, because I know from experience that many times, parents, especially moms, tend to loose part of themselves after they get married, and even more when they have kids. Because women are usually raised to be selfless and nurturing, and they tend to take care of others all the time, and put themselves last. This is not the case with everyone, but I have met many people who have this problem. I am now so much closer to being my true self than I have ever been before, but I still have a bit more to go. I hope that by me telling my story I will be able to help others along the way.

I won't start at the beginning, or say the reasons why things happen the way they do, but I just want to share an experience with all of you.

When I was a little girl I occupied my time doing one of several things, reading, writing my dreams and making stories out of them, drawing, day dreaming, and watching TV and movies and obsessing about famous people. As I grew I came to think that the things I used to do when I was a child were nonsense. So I stopped doing them. I stopped doing every single thing I loved doing as a child and I was left with nothing. After I got married and had children I concentrated on trying to fit this idea of what I thought the perfect wife and mother should be, and idea that I got from somewhere else, not from my heart. I kept trying and trying to be something that I felt I couldn't be. For years I did this, and I lost myself, I lost all interest in things, I became a boring person, just following along, doing what I felt I had to do, not liking anything. I even decided to stop looking at things that I liked, I avoided things that made me happy because I thought that by looking or thinking about things that I liked I would just suffer to know that I couldn't have it. So I tried to avoid pain, by thinking that I did not deserve anything, by not expecting to get anything. Aiming low so that I couldn't get disappointed. But no matter how hard I tried it seemed like everything was bad and nothing could go my way. I went deep into depression for a while but I bounced back after falling in the deepest of wells. And I survived. Then a friend of mine gave me this book about the Law of Attraction and how it is possible to attract good things to you by having happy thoughts and having happy emotions tied to those thoughts. I realized that I had made a big mistake in life by thinking that I should avoid pain by not looking at the things that I loved. I stopped having desires, I never got clarity, focus. I never placed a goal in my life except the one to live a long life. Now I know that I must re-gain clarity, that I must remember the things that made me happy when I was a child and bring back that passion for life once more. Embrace the true gifts that I was born with, and share them with the world.

Have you ever felt like you have lost your way? What have you done to gain it all back?