Recently my mother in law passed away and before that, in the ending of May she had gotten sick and my hubby went to be by her side. He spend about a week away and as the days went by I noticed myself getting antsy. I sleep in the corner of the bed, I feel bad locking the door with the chain because I have this sensation that he's going to come in soon. It is like his presence is here even though he isn't. Last time he was away I realized that I spent quite some time shopping. I spent a few hundred dollars in stuff and I cried as I put things in my shopping cart because part of me knew that I was just shopping to make myself feel better. Shopping Therapy is real! I don't know what it is, maybe is the fact that we give ourselves a treat, something that makes us feel good, like for example, last time I bought myself a blender, and some margarita mixers. This time since my hubby left to the funeral, I have found a way to be out of the house every day, and I bought myself some make-up, about $70 worth of it. : P And everything I buy is thinking about him. I buy make up to make me these cat-eyes, that he likes so much and I don't know how to do. I have learned quite a few things about myself that I didn't realize it until I have spent this time away from him. I enjoy sleeping with him in my bed, feeling his body close to mine, especially when he puts his arm around me. I enjoy watching certain TV shows with him, like The Voice, and White Collar, Modern Family, The Middle, etc. It is not the same without him. I enjoy having this time to spend it with him, even if we are only staring at the TV, even if I fall asleep half way. I find it so valuable to be able to laugh together like we do when we watch these shows.
Another thing I learned is that I like going out, I hesitate to go out sometimes because I feel overwhelmed with things sometimes, but once I block that I fully enjoy going out. I work part time, it's summer, girls don't have school, or homework, so there's no need to worry about getting home late. The only drawback is no time for chores. I want to be able to go out with my hubby more often. I used to be so concerned about my work before, but now, I don't care anymore, I do not live to work, that's something I learned recently about me too.
Because I believe we are constantly evolving, and the things that made us who we were 3 years ago, are not the same things that make us who we are today. And I know I am so different than what I was 3 years ago, and my hubby it is as well. We constantly need to learn about each other and be able to put the past behind us so that we can grow and bloom.
How do you deal when your husband is out of town?
Cocoons to Butterflies, is not only about helping our children reach their potential, it is about every one of us. It is about finding a way to make our dream develop into butterflies and fly. It is about finding our true potential, it's about life. Please join me in this journey through the unexpected, the wonderful and the mysterious that leads us to our true potential, our own butterflies.
Hi! Stopping by from MBC. Great blog!
ReplyDeleteHave a nice day!
At first I didn't like it when he was gone because I'm like a big scaredy cat by myself specially at night. But after almost 26 years sometimes short periods of time away from each other is kind of nice. I can read in bed and not worry about distubing him. And I like some me space sometimes =)
ReplyDeleteArizona Girls blog