It is an amazing book, and I think every person who is in a relationship or who has ever been in a serious relationship should read it. I am sure that if everyone read this book, there would be less divorce and more happy couples. I personally bought the Kindle version of the book and I am very happy with my purchase and I am sure that this will improve my marriage without talking about it. It makes so much sense, think about it. A woman is upset with her man, and she approaches him with, "we need to talk" How do you think the man is going to react? "Sure honey, sit next to me and let's talk" When was the last time you heard that? How about never!
What if she suggests therapy? How many men you know accept to go willingly to marriage counseling? and if they do agree, how many times has it really worked?
I have read numerous books on relationships and the majority of them needed the male counterpart's cooperation in order to work, but this book actually works even if your partner doesn't read it, or even if you don't even tell him that you read the book, or ask him anything about it or comment anything about it.
The great thing about this book is that it helps you understand the other side of the coin, it explains the differences between men and women and how each have their own way of dealing with stressful situations, how men tend to feel shame and need to feel like they are providing for their family and being good, sexy, amazing men to their wives and women fear abandonment and have a constant need of feeling loved and protected. It helps you see how many times the things we do can cause these fear/shame dynamic to unfold, without us meaning to do it, even without us knowing. It help us learn to catch these instances, and help us be compassionate of the other and change our behavior and in return our partners change their behavior as well, when they no longer feel the need to be defensive.
The book is written by a man and a woman therapist ( Steven Stosny Phd (Author), Patricia Edd Love (Author) ) and they write for each of the sexes so men or women can both benefit from it. I wonder if it would work for same sex partners? or if it would help in other relationships as well?
The only thing about the book is that it might not be as effective if it's read by a newly wed couple or a couple who is still in the romantic phase of their relationship, unless that person has previously experienced some kind of rockiness in their previous relationships, because they might not be able to relate to it. When a couple is new it tends to be all lovey dovey and everything is pink and flowers and someone in that stage probably wouldn't believe that there is a possibility that they could ever have problems in the relationship so they wouldn't believe it. But if you have ever been in a relationship where you felt like you had a hard time communicating with your partner then this book is for you. Go and buy it. What are you waiting for? Yes, you. The one that's looking at me looking at you looking at me. Ha! Just kidding. But I do recommend it and I would put it on the list of books that changed my life.
Can you relate?
You tell me....=)
ReplyDelete