New Beginnings

I have been away for over a month, and before that I was scarce as well. Some changes have been going on in my life that I was not ready to talk about them. But recently I have been feeling the need to get them out. Tell them to the world so I can focus on finding the path that I'm supposed to take.

I have been trying to restructure this Blog, and I think that life has made it so that I don't have a choice in this matter, it has just transformed me completely and with it this Blog.

When I chose the name Cocoons2Butterflies, I chose it because it was what I have been trying to achieve for most of my life. I have been on this constant quest to find myself, and just when I think I have found me, I realize that there's much more of me to find.

I feel that this journey should be shared. Because maybe, there is someone out there who will benefit from my story.

I am still learning, and every day I look forward to knowing a little bit more about myself than the day before.

The event that has triggered this new path is when I made the decision to stay in NYC and not move to Florida as I was expecting to do.  With this choice I have made, I also turned into a single mom, something I didn't want to be. However, I feel that this was the right choice, and when I made it I felt a huge weight come off my shoulders. I no longer feel anxiety every morning, I no longer cry every single day.

This has been one of the hardest decisions I have ever made, but I know that it was the right choice.

With this change in my life I have realized that even though I thought that I had found myself, now, with this new life ahead of me I realized that there is so much I don't know about myself and so many bad habits engrained in me, things I have to get rid of. Fear of rejection, a neediness for affection, low self esteem, feeling that I'm not good enough, not pretty enough...

But there are some things I do know now, like.

I love to sing out loud because it makes me feel like I am releasing into the wind all my feelings, be it of frustration, or love.

I love to dance, the movement of my body also allows me to release those feelings that are trapped inside of me, it makes me feel good.

I like to listen to music in Spanish. This is something I had not done since High School. When I was 13 I had my first boyfriend. I remember he liked Metallica, I had no clue who they where, but I bought their cassette and listened to it until I liked it. This was the beginning of a life of Rock and Heavy Metal music. I grew up as a "Rockera" but now, at age 37 I asked myself. What kind of music do I like? A few years ago I learned to like Hip Hop, and I listen to J-Pop with my daughter Gaby. But all these have been influences from other people in my life. So I again questioned myself and went back to my childhood, what did I listen to, before I was 13? And the answer was Spanish music. So I decided to find a Spanish Music Station who plays a wide variety of songs in Spanish and a few in English and I have been discovering many songs that I enjoy very much, I made a YouTube playlist and I learn the lyrics of the songs and I sing them at the top of my lungs and I feel great!


I love to learn new things. I love to read, especially books that teach me about how to better myself or anything new that interests me.

I love God. I was raised Catholic and went to school, and learned the Bible, and after I graduated high school I never went back to Church, but recently a friend asked me to be her daughter's godmother for her Confirmation and it required me to be a Church goer. I had to get a priest to sign a form saying that I went to Church every Sunday and that I was a member of the Church. So I went to Church every Sunday and registered myself with the Church and got the paper signed. I was also able to participate and be the Godmother of my adorable goddaughter Marylin.  After that passed, my friend April asked me if I wanted to go to Church with her. She is not Catholic, and she goes to a non-denominational Church. One day when I was feeling specially stressed out and in a bad place I decided to call her up and say that I wanted to go to Church with her, and I must say that it changed my life. I really love this Church, it really makes me feel like part of a community, and I feel the presence of God, and I feel that every week the pastor says exactly the words that I need to hear, and I know God is speaking at me through him. I never believed that I would feel this way since I had ignored God for a big chunk of my life. But here I am, and I know that's where I should be.

I love my wavy hair. My hair is normally wavy, and when I was in college I always wore it showing off the curls. But after I moved to NYC I started straightening out my hair and did so, every day. Recently I allowed my mom to convince me to cut my hair and start wearing it curly again. I must say I am very glad, it looks nice, my friends and co-workers keep complimenting me on it and it is so much easier to take care of. People say: I love what you have done with your hair. And I say: Well, I didn't do anything to it. This is my natural hair.

So here it is, a little bit of what I am learning in this New Beginning. I hope you join me on this journey and find yourself once again if you feel that any part of you has already been lost. Just know that the parts of you that are lost, are just merely waiting for you to find them and they will make you shine once more.

Love yourself!

Name 5 things that you love! Share the Love!

The 10 Days to You Challenge - Three Films - Day 8

This is going to be a hard one. I don't think I can think of only 3 movies that I like, not even only 3 movies that had touched me. But I guess I will write 3 films that have some kind of importance to me. But I know it's going to be very hard.

Once again in no particular order:

*Only You - With Robert Downey Jr and Marisa Tomei. It's in Italy is Romantic, and it talks about topics like destiny and true love. This movie was in a Tie with another Robert Downey Jr movie that I've seen over 50 times and I'm not kidding and it's Chances Are, with Cybill Shepard. It's also about true love and destiny. Totally two of my favorite movies from RDJ.

*Ever After, a Cinderella Story - Also in my second "film" I'm going to be cheating by including some other movies about the same actor with similar topics. This movie by Drew Barrymore touched me very much, it makes me cry every time, like most movies about strong women that achieve good things. I like this story because it portrays Cinderella as a humble yet very strong woman. Very powerful and a great role model for young girls, better than the defenseless portrayals of princesses in other movies. Two other movies by Drew that include strong women achieving great things is Riding in Cars with Boys about the journey of a single mom who got pregnant in her teens but was able to raise her child and become a famous writer at the end. She was able to win over the adversities that presented themselves in her life, and Whip It! also by Drew Barrymore because it shows a girl who fights for what she loves, and goes after her goals no matter how hard it is. Very strong female role-models in my opinion.

*Tuff Turf - This was the first movie I ever saw of Robert Downey Jr when I was 11 years old. I must say this impacted the way I led my life for the following 18 years. Obsessing about Robert Downey Jr until I finally met him in 2005. What I loved about this movie, even though it has gang activity, bullying and other inappropriate behavior that I would not allow my 10 year old to see, but back in the day I was impressed with Robert Downey Jr because he was a great friend in the movie, he risked his life to save his friend and he was a hero to me. It also deals with topics like fighting back against bullying and being a friend to the new kid in town. About being ok with being yourself. And a few other movies that had similar impact were Satisfaction (Girls of Summer) with Justine Bateman and the Julia Roberts before she was famous. It's about a band of 3 girls and one boy. It deals also with themes about finding yourself, being true to yourself, a little bit of love and exploring life. And Shag (the movie) this one with Phoebe Cates who was a sensation back then in the 80's. It's about teenage girls going out on vacation after high school and having fun one last time before one of them is supposed to get married. It's also about discovery and being one's self.

As you can see these are mainly 3 topics of movies that I like and there are way more that I could include on this list, but I'm supposed to put only three.

So what do you say? What are your favorite movies? what has impacted your life?

And come back for day 9 of the challenge with Two Songs. This is going to be even harder than the 3 films!