What would you do if you had just one moment to live? Would you try to make the most of it or would you succumb to the despair of the truth?
There are things in life that are just Fleeting Moments, just like the image above, where you can see just a left over of the bus and cars that passed by, and even though that moment has come and gone, the camera was able to capture but just a tiny bit of what it was and with it capture the beauty of the moment.
What if you never knew happiness and you were left with the option to have a fleeting moment of happiness with no promise to ever feel it again. What would you do with the rest of your life, knowing that that amazing moment may never come back. How would you ensure to extend the joy you felt? How do you make the most of it? Would you cry on your knees as you thank God for that moment? Would you cry with a grateful heart, yet cry and cry and cry? What if it was something even harder to deal with? What if you always wanted a child and they tell you you will have one, but he will die within a year. What would you do? Would you even choose to have it? What if he never dies? What if he does? What if the chances of him living are 10%? 5%? 1%? But 1% is still a chance!!!!
How do you see the future?
All my life I have struggled with not knowing what the future holds, and at the same time not wanting to know the future if it's not going to be what I want. Yet since I came into Christ I have had something a bit different happen. I have this Blind Faith in God. He knows what's best for me. So, that means that if something good happens to me now is because I deserve it. God loves us, and he would never want anything bad to happen to us. So when my thoughts start going south and down a spiral of negativeness then I have to stop myself and say: God wants what's best for me. I will be happy with what God gives me.
So why am I sad? I am sad because I am here January 1st completely alone in my house, and I sulk!!
What if I look back at my life and notice that every single thing that has happened in my life has been a result of other things that have happened. I can trace back things that have happened to me that without them today would not be true. God is supposed to be in charge, if we let him. And I let him.
There are many things that go through my head that I don't feel in the liberty to share here, like my questions on why God gives us what he gives us. My conflict stems from seeing some things and hearing other things that are in direct opposition of what you are hearing, but this time it's the opposite of what people are used to seeing. There's the saying that says: Actions speak louder than words! and it's usually used when a person says things (I love you, trust in me, etc etc) yet acts in direct opposition to those words. But what if it was the opposite? What if a person says they can never love you, yet they treat you as if they did? Does that make sense??? Who do you listen to? The words or the actions? We tend to listen to the negative in either situation, but it makes no sense...But it doesn't matter. We can't tell what is real and what is not real.
But whatever the reason, I don't have to be sad. Tomorrow my girls come back and I won't be alone anymore. We will be able to cuddle together in the couch and do things together!
Wish me safe travels getting my girls back.
Do you ever struggle with crazy negative feelings when you are alone? Do you ever wonder what your life brings? How do you deal with it?
