Fleeting Moments

What would you do if you had just one moment to live? Would you try to make the most of it or would you succumb to the despair of the truth?

There are things in life that are just Fleeting Moments, just like the image above, where you can see just a left over of the bus and cars that passed by, and even though that moment has come and gone, the camera was able to capture but just a tiny bit of what it was and with it capture the beauty of the moment.

What if you never knew happiness and you were left with the option to have a fleeting moment of happiness with no promise to ever feel it again. What would you do with the rest of your life, knowing that that amazing moment may never come back. How would you ensure to extend the joy you felt? How do you make the most of it? Would you cry on your knees as you thank God for that moment? Would you cry with a grateful heart, yet cry and cry and cry? What if it was something even harder to deal with? What if you always wanted a child and they tell you you will have one, but he will die within a year. What would you do? Would you even choose to have it? What if he never dies? What if he does? What if the chances of him living are 10%? 5%? 1%?  But 1% is still a chance!!!!

How do you see the future?

All my life I have struggled with not knowing what the future holds, and at the same time not wanting to know the future if it's not going to be what I want. Yet since I came into Christ I have had something a bit different happen.  I have this Blind Faith in God. He knows what's best for me. So, that means that if something good happens to me now is because I deserve it. God loves us, and he would never want anything bad to happen to us. So when my thoughts start going south and down a spiral of negativeness then I have to stop myself and say: God wants what's best for me. I will be happy with what God gives me.

So why am I sad? I am sad because I am here January 1st completely alone in my house, and I sulk!!

What if I look back at my life and notice that every single thing that has happened in my life has been a result of other things that have happened. I can trace back things that have happened to me that without them today would not be true. God is supposed to be in charge, if we let him. And I let him.


There are many things that go through my head that I don't feel in the liberty to share here, like my questions on why God gives us what he gives us. My conflict stems from seeing some things and hearing other things that are in direct opposition of what you are hearing, but this time it's the opposite of what people are used to seeing.  There's the saying that says: Actions speak louder than words! and it's usually used when a person says things (I love you, trust in me, etc etc) yet acts in direct opposition to those words. But what if it was the opposite? What if a person says they can never love you, yet they treat you as if they did? Does that make sense??? Who do you listen to? The words or the actions? We tend to listen to the negative in either situation, but it makes no sense...But it doesn't matter. We can't tell what is real and what is not real.

But whatever the reason, I don't have to be sad. Tomorrow my girls come back and I won't be alone anymore. We will be able to cuddle together in the couch and do things together!


Wish me safe travels getting my girls back.

Do you ever struggle with crazy negative feelings when you are alone? Do you ever wonder what your life brings? How do you deal with it?

September 11, 2011

It is September 11, 2011. Ten years since the event called 9/11.

I hear on the radio a lot of mentions about the people who died, about the children of those who died, the mentions of the people who gave their lives trying to help. Firemen, police men, etc.

Everyone who was born before 9/11 can probably remember what they where doing that day. It is not every day that people can be part of history and especially when it is such a horrifying event.

When 9/11 happened I was in NYC. My daughter Gaby was 8 months old. I had her in my arms when a neighbor called to tell me to look out the window and put on the news. I saw the twin towers and smoke coming out of them. At that moment I did not know the significance of this. This was my second year in NYC. I did not know what the twin towers was besides two identical looking buildings. It had no meaning to me. Terrorists where something you saw in Movies, for some reason I thought terrorism was a fictional occurrence. My first thought was "What idiot pilot crashes into a building?" I really thought it had been an accident, until the second plane crashed.

Now, ten years later my daughter asks me how was life like before 9/11 as the life she has lived has always been post 9/11. Where there are amber alerts, and ads that advice "If you see something, say something" and cops are everywhere, police check points in subways and we are constantly at war.

My child has no memory of life in USA without WAR!

I think that is sad. I remember when war was something that happened in other countries, never here.
I guess we are the same like other countries. We are not any more special that anyone else even though I grew up hearing that we were.

I don't think I know what that means anymore.

Yesterday I heard on the radio the following: The 10th anniversary of 9/11 is coming, what are you going to do to remember?
Truthfully? I wish I didn't remember.

As I kept on listening on the radio station they were playing messages of children of the people that died on 9/11 saying messages to their deseased parents. Our eyes watered and we had to change the channel. We chose not to think about it as we did when we chose to turn off the TV back in 9/11/2001. The TV was filled with news casts of what was happening and after 2 days of it we couldn't take it anymore so we chose not to watch. It was the most depressing thing ever and we didn't even know anyone who died on 9/11. We do not know anyone personally who suffered a loss that day, but we were here, and we saw the towers up in smoke out our own window.

We saw the news we saw the people.
It is something we will never forget. But it is not something we wish to make and effort to remember.
We do feel that all those people who gave their lives in 9/11/2001 deserve to be remembered and they will be, every day of the lives of those who knew them and symbolically by everyone else who heard about this event.

Do you have a 9/11 story? Feel free to share.

Dealing with Emotional Vampires

Have you ever felt emotionally drained after being next to someone?

For the past couple of days I have been feeling emotionally drained at work. As if there is this dark energy all around the office. I had never felt this way at work before. Today was the worst day of all.

Monday was a very hectic day at work, as most first of the month are in my line of work. I work at a Real Estate Management company, and between complaints about leaks after the rain over the weekend, rent payments, new tenants moving in, and lease signings I had my hands full all day. Yesterday I encountered myself with a situation that I was not expecting. I do not feel in the liberty to go into details in order to protect another person, but lets say that someone else in the office was going through a hard time and was unable to handle the pressure and felt bad, even bashed, even though the complaints were based on facts and in no way were meant to hurt anyone.

I was not directly present when all of the events happened, but rumors made me think that someone is having a problem with me. It is not the first time I hear of someone feeling like I have something against them when the truth is that I have a lot less of a problem with them than they imagine in their heads.

Today the office felt tense, very quiet, barely any words were exchanged and I could feel the dark cloud over the entire office. It was very uncomfortable working that way. I chose to not push the issue. I wonder if things will follow its course and fade. But if it doesn't then I would have to see a different way to approach the situation.  I am not into high school drama, and this is exactly how it feels. As I left the office this afternoon I found myself falling asleep in the train, I could barely stay awake, and this feeling has lasted for a long time after work was over. My cousin says that she thinks I am being the victim of an emotional Vampire.

I searched online about emotional Vampires and found an interesting post from Psychology Today that speaks about Emotional Vampires and gives ideas on how to prevent them from draining you.

Have you ever been the victim of an Emotional Vampire? How do you deal with it?
Read the full article: Who's the Emotional Vampire in your life?
Please share your story, I want to know more. :)