September 11, 2011

It is September 11, 2011. Ten years since the event called 9/11.

I hear on the radio a lot of mentions about the people who died, about the children of those who died, the mentions of the people who gave their lives trying to help. Firemen, police men, etc.

Everyone who was born before 9/11 can probably remember what they where doing that day. It is not every day that people can be part of history and especially when it is such a horrifying event.

When 9/11 happened I was in NYC. My daughter Gaby was 8 months old. I had her in my arms when a neighbor called to tell me to look out the window and put on the news. I saw the twin towers and smoke coming out of them. At that moment I did not know the significance of this. This was my second year in NYC. I did not know what the twin towers was besides two identical looking buildings. It had no meaning to me. Terrorists where something you saw in Movies, for some reason I thought terrorism was a fictional occurrence. My first thought was "What idiot pilot crashes into a building?" I really thought it had been an accident, until the second plane crashed.

Now, ten years later my daughter asks me how was life like before 9/11 as the life she has lived has always been post 9/11. Where there are amber alerts, and ads that advice "If you see something, say something" and cops are everywhere, police check points in subways and we are constantly at war.

My child has no memory of life in USA without WAR!

I think that is sad. I remember when war was something that happened in other countries, never here.
I guess we are the same like other countries. We are not any more special that anyone else even though I grew up hearing that we were.

I don't think I know what that means anymore.

Yesterday I heard on the radio the following: The 10th anniversary of 9/11 is coming, what are you going to do to remember?
Truthfully? I wish I didn't remember.

As I kept on listening on the radio station they were playing messages of children of the people that died on 9/11 saying messages to their deseased parents. Our eyes watered and we had to change the channel. We chose not to think about it as we did when we chose to turn off the TV back in 9/11/2001. The TV was filled with news casts of what was happening and after 2 days of it we couldn't take it anymore so we chose not to watch. It was the most depressing thing ever and we didn't even know anyone who died on 9/11. We do not know anyone personally who suffered a loss that day, but we were here, and we saw the towers up in smoke out our own window.

We saw the news we saw the people.
It is something we will never forget. But it is not something we wish to make and effort to remember.
We do feel that all those people who gave their lives in 9/11/2001 deserve to be remembered and they will be, every day of the lives of those who knew them and symbolically by everyone else who heard about this event.

Do you have a 9/11 story? Feel free to share.

Do you ever think about your own funeral?

This may seem an odd topic, but since my mother in law died I have been contemplating about death. Many people love my mother in law and they were all supportive of the family, so many people were present and sad for her passing, and it got me thinking about my own passing. My husband's family is so large, and so close, and I see my family as so small. Even though we have a lot of cousins, it seems as if we are not as close as my husband's family.  In my family people tend to live forever, 97 is an average age of living, so when I do pass, who is going to come to my funeral? I can think of a handful of people, but I don't know everyone in my family, so...who knows. Who will still be alive? Will my nieces on my husband side come to my funeral? Would they even care? I know my daughters would come, and their kids. But that's it. There will be no big gathering of people over me, I will be alone, and that's scary. Would any of my friends still be alive, will their kids care? Maybe Bibi's daughter, my niece and nephew from my sister, Mia, that's it? Will they buy me flowers, or make a poster of me, would they even make those little notes that they give with the info of the person, would anyone make a monthly note to give to family and friends to remember me by? I have only been to a handful of funerals and I don't remember much. I don't know how to do these things, what's the procedure, I don't know. It's all to scary. I know I have a long way to go, but I want people to remember me when I pass, I want people to say they were glad to have met me, maybe I should start making stronger ties with people, so that when I do die, more than a handful of people will even care.