On Wednesday I went to my Women's Writing Group and we were still working on our Vision Boards. We were all talking about the things we want to see manifested in our lives. I have been cutting images for weeks now, and I can't seem to allow myself to paste them in the board yet. It's like I feel like this is so important that I want to make sure I get it right. I want to make sure I paste everything that I possibly would want in my life. I have been gathering images for my Blog, for my personal life, my family life, a house, body image, etc. When it comes to my Blog, I feel that the imagery I'm getting is very strong. I am very confident with that area. When it comes to body image, and self I am also very confident in that area. But when it comes to my job and getting a house, then I feel very insecure. I worry too much about these aspects. I was planning on making a vision collage that would include all these things, but now that I am confronting these emotions head on, maybe I should keep them separate from my vision collage. I now realize that the reason why I have been so hesitant to start gluing my images is because I was afraid to include images for something I am still not clear about what I want, like the kind of house I want and the kind of work I want to be doing. Had I included these things in my collage, it would have made me doubt the power of the collage and it would have not worked as well. I should concentrate only in my family/self collage and the Blog collage because I have very strong feelings for those areas of my life. Vision collages should have images that make you feel 100% good, things that you love, things that make you happy, things that represent the things you want manifested in your life.
Today I saw this video and found it appropriate to share with this post. It is about the TV show Finding Sarah, and it's a video with Sarah Ferguson and her Life coach making a Vision Board. Enjoy!
Cocoons to Butterflies, is not only about helping our children reach their potential, it is about every one of us. It is about finding a way to make our dream develop into butterflies and fly. It is about finding our true potential, it's about life. Please join me in this journey through the unexpected, the wonderful and the mysterious that leads us to our true potential, our own butterflies.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
When a loved one passes away. Carlota, we miss you!
Yesterday a very special person passed away. My mother in-law Carlota, she was only 52 years young. It hardly seems fair how some people leave this earth way before their time.
Today I would like to honor her, a woman that not only gave birth to my wonderful husband, but who raised 9 kids in total, including her first female grand child.
Carlota is a woman that ever since she turned 17 she has been a mother, early on she stopped working and dedicated herself to raising those kids, she gave them everything she could possibly give them, she kept the house clean, put food on the table, and tried her best to keep them safe. Her children where her life, and her 19 grand kids too. She was always welcoming, her house was always filled not only with her kids and grand kids but with the neighborhood kids as well.
When I first met my husband when he was 18, I remember the first time I went to his house to meet his family, his brother's and sisters where so little, it was a world I had never known, as I grew up being an only child, and I was fascinated by it. There I learned for the first time to cook sancocho and to eat arroz con habichuela y tuna. When my husband and I lost our home to a hurricane just a month after we got married, we stayed at his house for a couple of weeks, and I remember feeling welcome in the house, soon I felt like one of the girls, even asking to be added to the chore list of the house. My husband's sisters were thrilled that I was willing to take one day of washing dishes from their chores. For a while I felt as if I was really part of this immense family, of brother's and sisters, and it felt good. I remember going on shopping sprees for school supplies, sneakers, socks etc. and how hard it was to make everyone happy within the budget. They were all spoiled with having only the name brands and it was because Carlota has always loved them so much that she wanted them to have the best that she could afford. I know she was a good mother to all these kids, and her heart suffered every time anything would happen to any of them, and she even took on the care of her oldest granddaughter when her parents couldn't.
Growing up with my husband, I always felt like I had to fill some pretty big shoes as Carlota was the ruler from which all my actions were measured. (I'm not sure if that sentence makes sense in English as I am translating from Spanish, but in essence I mean that I felt like I could never measure up to her, like she was this ideal to my husband that I could never fill.) She always had the house clean, she loved decorating, and cooking, and I was none of those things. But I must say I tried, and I still try to be like her in some way, but sometimes we just can't change who we really are. I really admire how she raised so many children and kept her sanity. I commend her for that. I do my best with my two daughters and I don't know if I would have been able to do as good a job as her if I had 8 kids.
When Gaby, my first daughter was still a toddler, Carlota got cervical cancer, and we took her to live with us in NYC from PR so she could get better treatment. I would take her to get her check ups, her chemotherapy, her radiation, I would take care of her, and we grew close. After the chemotherapy she got neuropathy on her legs and I would give her massages, and take her to all her appointments. I was so glad that she was able to recover from that. I really think that when we took her in, we extended her life for about 9 more years. In PR she wouldn't have gotten the treatment that she was able to receive in NY. I'm glad that I was able to get to know her better, and I'm glad that my daughters got to know her too. Especially Gaby, since she grew up with her as well.
Carlota, I want to say Thank you for raising an awesome man that it is my husband, thank you for being so nice to me, thank you for being a good mother, and grandmother, and woman. You will always live in our hearts. May God keep you in his Glory. Amen.
Today I would like to honor her, a woman that not only gave birth to my wonderful husband, but who raised 9 kids in total, including her first female grand child.
Carlota is a woman that ever since she turned 17 she has been a mother, early on she stopped working and dedicated herself to raising those kids, she gave them everything she could possibly give them, she kept the house clean, put food on the table, and tried her best to keep them safe. Her children where her life, and her 19 grand kids too. She was always welcoming, her house was always filled not only with her kids and grand kids but with the neighborhood kids as well.
When I first met my husband when he was 18, I remember the first time I went to his house to meet his family, his brother's and sisters where so little, it was a world I had never known, as I grew up being an only child, and I was fascinated by it. There I learned for the first time to cook sancocho and to eat arroz con habichuela y tuna. When my husband and I lost our home to a hurricane just a month after we got married, we stayed at his house for a couple of weeks, and I remember feeling welcome in the house, soon I felt like one of the girls, even asking to be added to the chore list of the house. My husband's sisters were thrilled that I was willing to take one day of washing dishes from their chores. For a while I felt as if I was really part of this immense family, of brother's and sisters, and it felt good. I remember going on shopping sprees for school supplies, sneakers, socks etc. and how hard it was to make everyone happy within the budget. They were all spoiled with having only the name brands and it was because Carlota has always loved them so much that she wanted them to have the best that she could afford. I know she was a good mother to all these kids, and her heart suffered every time anything would happen to any of them, and she even took on the care of her oldest granddaughter when her parents couldn't.
Growing up with my husband, I always felt like I had to fill some pretty big shoes as Carlota was the ruler from which all my actions were measured. (I'm not sure if that sentence makes sense in English as I am translating from Spanish, but in essence I mean that I felt like I could never measure up to her, like she was this ideal to my husband that I could never fill.) She always had the house clean, she loved decorating, and cooking, and I was none of those things. But I must say I tried, and I still try to be like her in some way, but sometimes we just can't change who we really are. I really admire how she raised so many children and kept her sanity. I commend her for that. I do my best with my two daughters and I don't know if I would have been able to do as good a job as her if I had 8 kids.
When Gaby, my first daughter was still a toddler, Carlota got cervical cancer, and we took her to live with us in NYC from PR so she could get better treatment. I would take her to get her check ups, her chemotherapy, her radiation, I would take care of her, and we grew close. After the chemotherapy she got neuropathy on her legs and I would give her massages, and take her to all her appointments. I was so glad that she was able to recover from that. I really think that when we took her in, we extended her life for about 9 more years. In PR she wouldn't have gotten the treatment that she was able to receive in NY. I'm glad that I was able to get to know her better, and I'm glad that my daughters got to know her too. Especially Gaby, since she grew up with her as well.
Carlota, I want to say Thank you for raising an awesome man that it is my husband, thank you for being so nice to me, thank you for being a good mother, and grandmother, and woman. You will always live in our hearts. May God keep you in his Glory. Amen.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Loving Unconditionally and Not Caring
Today I was reading the July 2011 issue of Oprah Magazine when I came across an article that caught my eye. How to Love More by Caring Less by Martha Beck There was a sentence that shocked me, and it made me feel that the author was being a bit harsh when she said: "Well, Loretta, I just love you. I don't care what happens to you." My first impression was that the part of not caring what happens to her was meant as I-don't-care-if-you-stay-with-your-abusive-husband-and-he-kills-you, kind of thing, but as I read on I was able to understand that what the author means by "not caring" is, "I don't care what you do with your life, I will still love you no matter what." and I got it. Many of us make the mistakes of caring too much, like caring too much about what another person does, or doesn't do. If you find yourself thinking, if so and so could only do this or change in this or that way I would ________________________, then you are not loving unconditionally. I think we all make this mistake in our lives, and I have come to realize that it's better to live and let live, love and let love. AS Martha says "Loving without caring might mean staying calm when your sister gets divorced, or your dad starts smoking again, or your husband gets laid off." To me is not trying to control the outcome of the other person's life, is accepting them with their flaws and all, accepting that they make the choices they make because they can, it's being supportive when your husband wants to buy a motorcycle, even if you are concerned about it. It's knowing that the only person you have control over is yourself. It is accepting the fact that we can all reach a given emotional state even if a loved one does not conform to our wishes. It is thinking that it is possible to stay peaceful and able to embrace joyous occasions even if all our loved ones where to remain toxicaly insane.
We need to shift our focus from controlling our loved one's behavior to creating our own happiness.
I recommend everyone to read the full article. I believe that for the past few months I have been gradually making this my new reality, I am accepting of my loved ones without caring what they do. Because I accept that they are different than me, that they have their own sets of wishes and desires, and it is not my job to control them or try to make them see life my way. I just have to love them just the way they are.
We need to shift our focus from controlling our loved one's behavior to creating our own happiness.
I recommend everyone to read the full article. I believe that for the past few months I have been gradually making this my new reality, I am accepting of my loved ones without caring what they do. Because I accept that they are different than me, that they have their own sets of wishes and desires, and it is not my job to control them or try to make them see life my way. I just have to love them just the way they are.
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