Recently I have been paying attention to the kind of example I give to my children and contemplate the ways I can set a better example for them and how I can influence them to take better care of themselves.
My oldest daughter is now ten and has all the qualities of a teenager. I knew I was dealing with a precocious child when at the tender age of 5 she came home one day from Kindergarten and announced to me, I want to be popular! I started thinking, Isn't this supposed to be something that I shouldn't have to worry about until high school? Well, 5 years later and she is into things that I normally would have related to teenagers, she seems mature, and moody at times, but she's a wonderful kid and I am very grateful to have her as my child. But sometimes I look at her and see that she doesn't take care of her appearance too much. She doesn't mind having messy hair and wrinkly clothes and I see myself in her, and I worry that I have set a bad example for her. Growing up I hated brushing my hair or ironing clothes and I hated skirts, shoes, and make-up. Now I see my daughter following my footsteps except she has some advantages and it's because she likes skirts and shoes, and she likes make-up, I just don't let her use it just yet. But her hair is a mess most of the time and I don't know how to deal with that.
Growing up my mom always tried to get me to wear skirts, brush my hair, put on make-up, iron all my clothes, wear nice girly shoes and it seems that I always had to go against everything she said, just because. Now, I understand what my mother wanted to achieve with me, however I know that I was a rebel, and my daughter tends to be like that too. I cannot try to force her into something or she will go against me full force as I used to do with my mom (and still do sometimes). So I feel I must lead by example.
My dilemma now is How do I set a better example to my children when I don't know how to do it?
I mean, I struggle with fashion, how to dress properly, I only wear jeans and shirts and black sketchers, every day of my life. Recently I have tried to buy nicer shirts maybe to try and give a better example, but the choices I made, based on what I liked did not meet the approval of my daughter or my hubby. Is it still an improvement when I wear a nice blouse even if it's my husband's least favorite color? Or if my daughter hates it? I did choose a shirt that I absolutely loved, and I love how it looks on me. I think that I should wear what makes me happy regardless of whether others like it or not. And what about my hair? I can wash my hair, let it air dry and straighten it with a flat iron and it looks nice for a few days, but then before the week ends my hair is not at it's best and I struggle with the decision to wash it or not. Not washing it usually wins, especially since my hair is normally dry, and taking care of it is a few hours worth of my time. But what about my daughter? She washes it and hates brushing it and then it tangles, and her hair is very thick and oily and then she has a sensitive head that it hurts a lot when brushed, so it's a constant struggle, so I tend to give up. I give up because I don't feel like fighting the battle, I'm tired. But is it worth it? Should I try to win the battle, or try to be like the Horse of Troy and sneak in and win the battle? Do any of you struggle with these kinds of issues? How do you deal? I want to know.
