Talking about Love

It has been a long time since I have written a post. More than a year I think. I have stayed away from the blog since my marriage didn't work. There is so much that I was feeling and I felt that I wasn't in the liberty to share it. I mean, too many people know who I am. I cannot talk about what happened, don't want to air my dirty laundry in the internet. There are some things that are better left unsaid.
I have struggled with my feelings, with my understanding of what life is. And as I go through this journey that may very possibly end in divorce I contemplate on the meaning of Love. What is Love? Is it an emotion? An action? A decision? Energy?
I have always felt that Love was like a decision. You make a commitment to be with a person and you try to work it out, no matter what. But not everyone thinks that way and there is also the issue of how much do you tolerate? How far do you go to make something work without loosing your very lively hood? When is it okay to quit on a relationship?
I guess every person is different. Many people stay together for different reasons which may or may not include LOVE.
But if you define Love as the energy of creation. It is also a conscious choice.
Jesus taught us Christians about a different kind of Love than we are used to. Agape Love, the Unconditional love a person has towards others. A love that you choose to have towards humanity, that gives value to all beings and it triggers a desire to help and be of service to others. I get that. I get that Agape Love towards humanity. But society has placed the value that Love should have in Sex. The media equates love with sex. Everywhere it is plastered all over the medias. But that I just don't get. It may be because I was with only one man in my life and could only understand the concept of sex in the context of an exclusive relationship. But the world tells us that sex is fun, it is something you should do as much as it is humanly possible. You must try with as many people as possible so you can learn and have fun and have something to compare it to. So you can make an educated choice on who the right person should be.
I think that sex should NOT be the determining factor on whether a person is a good partner or not. I believe that when you find that perfect partner and you both feel a connection and make a commitment to each other then the sex is going to be great! It should come from two individuals who are mentally and emotionally connected and compatible and then physically compatible.
I have tried to understand the sex industry but I can't. I am not looking for a partner who will give me awesome sex. I want someone who I can connect with. Who cares about me and my daughters. Who is interested in knowing all about me and is in no rush to learn everything in a day. Someone who is a good role model, hard working man, with goals and aspirations, who enjoys doing acts of service just like me, or that would at least encourage me to continue to follow that path. Someone who is willing to stick by my side. No matter what.
What do you identify with Love? What does LOVE mean to you?

Tween/Teen Dating What's your take on it?

I have been sick, and haven't been sleeping much. I haven't been staying late to write my Blog, but I have so many things that I want to say. Recently I have encountered myself exposed to the probability of Tween/Teen Relationships. It has not been with my children, but with other children I know. And I tend to create bonds with other kids around me, as if they are my own, so I feel like I have a responsibility to them, even if they are not mine.

It got me thinking, about the post I wrote on what I wish I knew when I was 13. And how there are many things that I didn't even put on that list. When I was 13 I fell in love with a boy who was a "bad boy". He was into heavy metal and wore an earring. He was always in trouble and wasn't allowed to go out much so our relationship was one mainly on the phone. We maybe saw each other about 6 times. My mom didn't like him, but in a way that make me like him more. It was silly, but it was my way of exploring my feelings and trying to figure out what was going on with me and growing up. I was very lucky that I was raised in a nice environment with nice people. Had I been raised in a bad neighborhood and allowed to hang out with bad influences then things would have turned out very differently. I had a very clear idea of what I was allowed to do and what I wasn't supposed to do, and there was a real fear of authority, I mean I was afraid of what my mom would do to me if I would ever do something I wasn't supposed to do. So for the most part I didn't do anything that I wasn't supposed to do. But in a way that made me wonder, and left many questions unanswered regarding the things I would dare to do, or maybe about things I wanted to do but was to afraid to do.

When I think about the things I want for my daughters I think that when they are old enough to date I would want them to know that they are bound to have feelings that might make them confused, but that they are all part of growing up and that it is perfectly natural to have feelings and emotions toward boys. I want them to know the things that they can do, and what they should wait to do. Talk to them about the risks, the signs, and make them feel that they have someone that will listen to them and answer all the questions that they may have, and that I would be there for them no matter what.

If I had a boy I would want him to know that it is OK to be attracted to girls and that certain parts of their bodies will get their attention more that others and that it is also OK to think about it. I would want him to know that they should respect girls, and to take care of himself and not do anything that could put him or a girl at risk of anything.

At the end of the day, we all have feelings about sex, and love and that is part of what it makes us human. And I want my children to learn that sex is not a bad evil thing, and that they should be knowledgeable and smart, and learn to make the right decisions at the right time and to always act responsibly and be safe.

This is such a touchy subject and can sometimes be taboo, but I think that telling a kid that they are forbidden to date is just pushing them to do it even more, and without a parent's guidance they are bound to make more mistakes than if they had been allowed to express themselves openly in front of their parents.

What do you think about teen dating? What age would you allow your child to date? Are the rules different from boys than from girls?