Marriage Myths Revealed - Part 2

I'm continuing today the last week's topic of Marriage Myths. Today we are going to be talking about the last 3 myths.

• Myth# 3 - In Happy Marriages, Child Care and Housework Are Evenly Distributed

          Why is this myth so destructive? Well, since the beginning of time women have been taking care of most of the child care and housework in the family. Even though times have changed, and men now are taking care of many of the tasks that had originally been expected to be a "women's job" it is shown that to this day women still do most of the housework and child rearing. Yet women have grown to be more discontent with this arrangement and expect the work to be divided equally. By expecting this women tend to then be less happy and more resentful and have less happy marriages. Instead women should be happy if their significant other helps out as much as they can, but don't wait for full equality in order to be happy, or you probably won't be.

• Myth #4 - Both Partners Are Responsible for the Level of Marital Happiness

 Many women tend to feel like if their husbands are in a constant bad mood then they are helpless to change them.  I have heard from friends complaints about their husbands and how it is them that have the problem, and they can't do anything about it.
The author believes something different. He says that many of his female patients will come to him complaining that if the husband has a bad mood then it is their own husband's responsibility to fix it, but the author says that there is something that the wife can do.

He recommends that the female take charge of her own happiness, if the man is in a bad mood the woman can take care of herself and by doing things to lighten her own mood she will be in turn lighting up the mood of her husband because there will be a more positive attitude in general in the household.

So it is possible to improve the dynamics of the relationship even if only one of the members of the couple is making an effort.

• Myth #5 - If Your Marriage Makes You Unhappy, the Best Solution Is to Get Out

The author says that in his practice he has encountered many couples who have chosen to divorce mainly for 3 reasons:

-The couple has grown apart
-Difference in lifestyles and values
-Not feeling loved or appreciated by the spouse


According to the author these are not the best reasons to choose divorce. He states that when people grow up, get older, they tend to grow in different directions, it is very unlikely that both will grow exactly on the same path, so it's selfish to expect another human being to grow on the exact direction of another without some differences.


Regarding the differences in values and lifestyles he says that it usually refers to having differences on how to spend the money and raise the kids. It is suggested that the couple work on learning to compromise and see different points of view.


When the times are not so good, it helps to concentrate on the benefits of marriage. Women that
believe that marriage is for as long as you both shall live instead of until both shall love tend to have better marriages and work harder at it. Women tend to be the ones who complain more about the satisfaction in the marriage and if they instead focus on the positive aspects of the marriage the husband tends to appreciate the effort and they end up meeting the wife's needs more over time.



Well, these are the 5 most destructive myths about marriage. if you want to learn more I recommend you read the book The Secrets of Happily Married Women
it is a very interesting book with many insights to the world of Happily Married Women.


What do you think about the Myths? Do you agree with them, or disagree?